Well, we thought we would make our first trip to Moldova in June but it doesn't look like that will happen. I think I mentioned this before but children in Moldova (and other countries) are required to be on a national registry for adoption for a certain length of time. Once this time frame is complete and a national family hasn't adopted then they are available for international adoption. We were told Angelina would be available by the end of May but now the country is saying it will be the end of June. Moldova has undergone recent elections which are always complex and drawn out. From what I hear things are settling down and hopefully adoptions will resume. The last year a child was adopted from Moldova through our agency was 2011. The country now has new procedures for adoptions but we are not real sure what they are!
Having explained that, it looks like we will make our first trip either the end of July or August. It is really hard not being able to plan this trip with all that we have going on with Andy's work, Dow starting Auburn in the fall, and Beth going to Haiti for a month and then returning to Trinity in August.
However, this is the least of my concerns. There are times when I am so overwhelmed by the magnitude of adding two more children to our family. When I think about the reality of this, I almost can't breathe and begin to reeeaaaallllyyyy panic! All sorts of things run through my mind:
how will I have the energy?
will I be able to be a good mom to Dow when he is in college?
how will I be there for our teenage daughter, Beth?
will I ever have any more special times with Hope - just the two of us?
how will this impact our marriage?
will I ever make it to exercise again?
how will I ever have another quiet time with God?
how will we even make it to church on time or make it all?
will I be able to maintain other relationships with friends, etc?
how will we be able to teach Angelina and Will all they need to know and are behind on?
Well, I guess you get the picture! Then I am reminded that God did not give me a spirit of fear and I think about the Cross and all of the Power and Love that it represents and I calm down. God gently reminds me that He has called us to do this and His strength is sufficient in my weakness. I think if I am going to fear anything, it would be disobeying God's call. I had rather be facing trials and challenges in the center of God's will than facing a broken relationship with Christ for disobedience.
Those moments of fear still come, but then I quickly think about the Cross. I was also reminded through a devotion by Henry Blackaby that further explained the Fruit of the Spirit. The Holy Spirit will lead me to the identical PEACE that guarded the heart of Christ as He was beaten and mocked and prepared for the cross. When I think about Jesus having peace in His circumstances, I know the Holy Spirit is able to bring about that peace in my life as well. So thankful to be a child of the KING, adopted into His family and given the keys to His Kingdom and all that my inheritance provides!